Mad-libs, part 2: A Tale

Harry Potter And The Curse of Dudley

Harry Potter, the boy wonder, the penny-pincher of the wizarding world; sat alone in his tiny bedroom scratching his elbow and cleaning the sugar out of Hedwig's cage. This summer wasn't nearly as boring as his previous summers had been.

Over the summer, his cousin Dudley had grown quite frightened of him. Harry secretly kept cursing him, even though under age use of magic was strictly forbidden outside of Hogeczema 's school of catcraft and happiness.

It seemed the wizarding world turned a blind foot when it came to Harry, and he never got in trouble for his... transgressions.

One particularly memorable curse on Dudley happened on the 13th of June. It was so hot, you could bake a picture on the sidewalk.

Dudley sat on his enormous ear in front of the telly, spooning flaskful after flaskful of chocolate mousse down his throat. Harry thought he looked rather giraffish, with his piggy little eyes and fat body.

Harry got an evil little grin on his kneecap and raised his wand behind Dudley's head. "Carpe Momentum" he shouted; which translated to English means "Turn this boy's head into a star fruit and make him dance around like a tiger with migraines!"

And that's just what Dudley did! He bounced off the couch, screamed " BLODRUM!" to the top of his lungs, and began sewing on the floor, while turning in circles and flapping his thumbs.

Harry was laughing so hard, he almost peed his cap. He was still laughing, and Dudley was still flapping, when Uncle Vernon came thundering down the stairs. He had gone a nice shade of purple. He looked at Harry, shaking in anger, then looked at Dudley, horrified. " IT TAKES BOTH SUN AND RAIN TO MAKE A RAINBOW.
!" he screamed, then calmly turned and walked away.

Harry and Dudley looked at each other in abject confusion. Harry shrugged his shoulders in a "beats me" gesture, and the two cousins sat on the sofa, temporarily forgetting their animosity toward one another.

Dudley lifted the half empty flask of chocolate mousse and offered it to Harry.

"Don't mind if I do!" said the bespectacled young man, grabbing a spoon and preparing to dine.

Dudley's thumbs gave one mighty final flap, and the boys had a most enjoyable evening, indeed.